The edge of burnout: what I did when the slope got slippery

I’ve teetered on the edge of burnout twice in my career. It was not pretty.

I know I’m not alone. It comes up in so many of the conversations I have. In my HR consulting work, in supervision conversations with HR professionals, in coaching sessions, in workshops, and honestly, with friends over coffee and over the phone.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I managed to recognise what was happening and pull back before I went over the edge. Not everyone gets to do that. I know people who have needed to take months, sometimes longer, out of work to recover. And not everyone has that option. The bills go on regardless.

So, I’ve been thinking about what I actually did to bring myself back from that slippery slope. Here are the things that worked for me. They won’t be for everyone. Some of them aren’t even for me anymore now that time has passed. But maybe one or two will land for you.

1. Boundaries - the unsexy but essential ones

I know, I know. We hear about boundaries constantly. And they’re hard in practice, especially when others don’t respect them. Which is exactly why getting clear on our own matters so much.

Some of the things that actually helped me:

• Setting my work phone to Do Not Disturb automatically from 7pm to 6am every day.

• Stopping checking emails outside of hours. When I failed at this (and I did), I saved the response as a draft and sent it the next working day.

• When I had to work on weekends due to the nature of my role, I scheduled my days off the following week. Without fail.

• Sharing my calendar with my team and manager. It cut the unnecessary emails significantly.

• Taking my partner on work trips when possible, so we had real quality time together even when I was working for part of the time.

And when all other efforts had failed with one particular person, I messaged them at 8am after they had called me at 8pm the night before. They were overseas and expressed shock. I replied: ‘Oh, those darn time zone issues.’ They never did it again.

2. Self-insight - knowing what fills you and what drains you

Understanding the type of work that gives me energy versus the work that costs me is genuinely powerful. As a coach who uses the Emotional Culture Deck (ECD) regularly, I often use it for my own self-coaching moments, looking honestly at how I’m actually feeling versus how I’d prefer to feel. And then I create a simple action plan, 2-3 things, to help me get there. The ECD is available as a free download if you’d like to try it (https://ecdeckstore.ridersandelephants.com/?ref=ECDcards). 

I’ve also done various assessments over the years.  DISC, Six Working Genius, Multipliers, and more. For my own self-awareness. They’re worth doing purely for yourself when you’re not in crisis mode.

Knowing our strengths matters too. When we’re spending a significant proportion of your time on things that drain us, or that we’re genuinely not good at, the slippery slope tends to appear shortly after.

Simply being aware of these helped me to build and curate my days so I always had some work that was fulfilling to do in key parts of the day.

3. Connection (even when it’s the last thing you want)

When we’re burnt out or heading that way, our instinct is often to retreat. Stay home. Rest. Binge something. Exist in isolation. It makes sense on the surface, but it’s often counter-productive.

A walk in nature with a friend and a coffee often filled my proverbial cup far more than a weekend on the couch binge watching shows (even Ted Lasso!). Not every time.

But more often than not.

Having people around us who genuinely support us, and who will also hold up the mirror when we need it, is one of the most protective things I know of. Not people who just validate you. People who tell you the truth with care.

4. Visuals and self-talk (aka letting things go)

There is a brilliant sketch note by Dr Hayley Lewis (check HayPsych on insta or her page on LinkedIn) on the circle of control. I printed it and kept it visible for a long time. It’s a practical visual reminder that some things are within our circle of influence, some are within our circle of control, and a lot are outside both. Letting go of the latter is a skill. A genuinely difficult one.

Linked to that, for me at least, is self-talk. Literally talking to myself. Saying out loud: ‘That’s outside my circle of control. Let it go’ It sounds odd, but externalising a thought, getting it out of our head and into the air, genuinely helps. Research backs this up: saying things aloud supports internalisation in a way that thinking alone does not.

Clarity about when to challenge a system and when to reserve your energy is also powerful. You can’t fight every battle. Knowing which ones are worth the cost is part of staying off the slippery slope.

5. The things that fill your cup, don’t drop them first

This is always the first area to go. We stop doing the small things that bring us joy, and they accumulate. Their absence compounds quietly until we notice we’re running on empty and have been for some time.

For me, it was novels. I stopped reading fiction for way too long. Rediscovering it, losing myself in a good book, turned out to be one of the most restorative things I did. And now I’m getting recommendations on books from an ex-footy player. I never thought I would utter that out loud! But check out Luke Bateman on insta, he is great.

I also noticed that when I was close to the edge, I’d get short-tempered with my pets, feel bad about it, and spiral. Now I treat my morning walk with them as non-negotiable. And while they pee on what feels like every blade of grass, rather than get frustrated, I pause. I listen to the birds. I breathe. It matters more than it sounds.

And humour. When I lose my sense of humour, genuinely lose it, that is my last warning sign that something needs to change immediately. A funny film. Watching the pets do something ridiculous. Even just a real smile. Small things. But they signal which direction I’m facing.

The question I’ll leave you with

Understanding yourself, your triggers, your early warning signs, the patterns that show up before the slope gets steep, is some of the most important work you can do.

Not just for your career. For yourself.

Brene Brown says it simply in the title of one of her books: you are your best thing. Not your output. Not your availability. Not your capacity to absorb more than is reasonable.

How would it feel to actually act as though that were true?

I’d love to know what resonates here, or what you’d add from your own experience. Drop a comment or reply directly. These conversations matter.